Sunday, November 20, 2011

thoughts on writing (!!!)

What I'm Listening To: Beastly OST; specifically "Today is the Day" by Tim Myers.
What I'm Doing: Working on an outline for my nano novel "Incandescence" because the thoughts of revision have entirely taken over the actual writing of the first draft.

I was thinking about motivation (because of a lovely book I found in the library, "The Nighttime Novelist" by Joseph Bates) and it occurred to me that a major happening in "Incandescence" is Ayden's search for his father.

Then I realised that "Boy Next Door" starts the same way - with a search for Daddy. Then it occurred to me that in "Butterfly Gate" there is no father. In "Eden's Gate" there is no mother - she died before the story began. In "Eversong" both parents are there, but she runs away from them. In "Dormouse, Inc" the parents are missing, and the search for them plays a major part in the main character's motivation. In "Moonlight" - the parents are killed. "Snow Queen" has no parents, only a grandmother. "Pearl of Eden" the parents are dead. In .... wait, that's all of them.

All of my stories involve missing or dead parents. Sometimes the missing or deadness has direct relevance, and sometimes the parents are just... not there. This was a horrible revelation for me, because I had no idea I was doing it.

In my personal life, my mother is dead. October 25th of this year marked the thirteenth year since she died; more than half my life. My birth father has never been part of the picture, and he may as well be on the moon for all I know - though I'd like, one day, to find him. (!!!)

I don't know if this means something specific, or if it's just... well. I had no idea (until last night, when I was thinking "Major motivation for Ayden has to be his father, because it has to be personal, and he needs a reason for doing what he does, beyond just "because he wants to. Hm, this all sounds vaguely familiar, didn't I do the same thing in "Boy Next Door? And in Eden's Gate, the mother is dead. ... ... OH MY GOD, I HAVE A TYPE!!!") that I was doing this! It was a revelation. Am I alone in this? I must find other writer-types to discuss with.