thoughts on writing (!!!)

What I'm Listening To: Beastly OST; specifically "Today is the Day" by Tim Myers.
What I'm Doing: Working on an outline for my nano novel "Incandescence" because the thoughts of revision have entirely taken over the actual writing of the first draft.

I was thinking about motivation (because of a lovely book I found in the library, "The Nighttime Novelist" by Joseph Bates) and it occurred to me that a major happening in "Incandescence" is Ayden's search for his father.

Then I realised that "Boy Next Door" starts the same way - with a search for Daddy. Then it occurred to me that in "Butterfly Gate" there is no father. In "Eden's Gate" there is no mother - she died before the story began. In "Eversong" both parents are there, but she runs away from them. In "Dormouse, Inc" the parents are missing, and the search for them plays a major part in the main character's motivation. In "Moonlight" - the parents are killed. "Snow Queen" has no parents, only a grandmother. "Pearl of Eden" the parents are dead. In .... wait, that's all of them.

All of my stories involve missing or dead parents. Sometimes the missing or deadness has direct relevance, and sometimes the parents are just... not there. This was a horrible revelation for me, because I had no idea I was doing it.

In my personal life, my mother is dead. October 25th of this year marked the thirteenth year since she died; more than half my life. My birth father has never been part of the picture, and he may as well be on the moon for all I know - though I'd like, one day, to find him. (!!!)

I don't know if this means something specific, or if it's just... well. I had no idea (until last night, when I was thinking "Major motivation for Ayden has to be his father, because it has to be personal, and he needs a reason for doing what he does, beyond just "because he wants to. Hm, this all sounds vaguely familiar, didn't I do the same thing in "Boy Next Door? And in Eden's Gate, the mother is dead. ... ... OH MY GOD, I HAVE A TYPE!!!") that I was doing this! It was a revelation. Am I alone in this? I must find other writer-types to discuss with.

we dreamt in heist

What I'm Listening To: Anberlin - We Dreamt in Heist

What I'm Doing: Updating my blogs instead of writing. 8D

Just realised that while I'm doing pretty good updating the other blog I just started (and then they made me their queen, right here on blogger, if you're interested in my disjointed, mostly non-authorly thoughts) I haven't updated this in a while.

So a quick writerly update for the writerly blog: I'm writing!

I had the idea about two years ago, when my computer was blown out by el nino, and I wrote the first three chapters out by hand.

I looked at all the stories I've got on my computer and just HATED. EVERYTHING. so I started typing up the "Untitled Wizard Story (That Has Nothing To Do With Harry Potter)" - which was the working title at the time - and then kept going.

I'm finishing it up for Camp Nano, and I'm considering doing the same thing for Nano in November - I realise that according to the rules, we're not supposed to write any of the prose before the first, but if I write it out by hand at first, and then type it up on the computer, it gives me a running start on actually writing, and helps with the flow.

That's how, in about three days, I've gotten up past twenty thousand words. I'm aiming for 30k by midnight tonight, so I've got to get off the internet, and keep going.

(Oh, the new title is "Boy Next Door" for the record. XD Much shorter than "Untitled Wizard Story (That Has Nothing To Do With Harry Potter)" right?)

What I'm Listening To: someone's alarm clock that they're not turning off because they sleep through everything.

What I'm Doing: NOT writing.

I ganked this from another of my blogs, because I'm deleting it as useless and didn't want to lose the post.

song of the day: Enya - Wild Child

	Enya - Wild Child
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Just finished reading Sebastian and Belladonna by Anne Bishop. The world in those two novels is broken, shattered into pieces, and a person can only venture into a landscape that resonates with their heart.

It made me wish that our landscapes were shattered, so that I wouldn't need to search for my heart's hope.

I could simply step across a bridge and find myself wherever I was most needed to be.

I've also got two lines of story that need to be written, but I don't know who it's for.

I can walk in the places between worlds.

I was born to keep the balances.

Been a LONG Time

What I'm Listening To: Alanis Morisette - I Remain (Prince of Persia: Sands of Time OST)

What I'm Doing: Updating my blog for the first time in over a year!

Its not really that I forget that I have this - its mostly caused by the fact that my internet access is sporadic, and I forget to *update* this when I get the chance. But I'm really, really trying to become more active as an author on the web, so that when I finally get something done, I have people who will support me. XD

Although, if I dug out all my friends from all my favoured websites, I'm sure my book would sell out, even if everyone who bought a copy just tossed it in the trash afterwards. Its not that I'm without friends, its that I'm without a respectable online presence. That and I can never think of what to post about, which is why - although I'm trying hard to talk about relevant things - I just end up blathering on like this.

On the homefront, I'm trying - really trying, and not just blog-trying XD - to write. I really am. I really like the idea, and I have good places for it to go, but I'm beginning to suspect myself of ADD. I sit down to write - I WANT to write - I HAVE TO WRITE RIGHT NOW OMFGOOH SHINY WASSAT?

And I don't write. So it's slow going. And I'm very pleased to have completed Eversong to the first draft, but looking back on it - it's SO BAD. I can't bring myself to start revising it.